His baby brother, for Christ’s sake. Coop doesn’t even want to think about his brother knowing about sex, let alone having it. Jesus. He’s just a kid.

But Blaine’s not just a kid, Coop has to remind himself. Not anymore. He’s a seventeen year old boy, with hormones that are raging out of control. He’s a seventeen year old boy with a boyfriend who has equally raging hormones, and they’re madly in love so it makes sense that they would be having sex, but Cooper really just doesn’t want to think about it.

And that’s not because they’re two guys… it’s because Blaine is his baby brother. And his baby brother should not be old enough to be doing these kinds of things.

The phone call starts off unassumingly enough. One afternoon, Cooper is packing up his briefcase and hoping to sneak out early and take one of his lovely co-workers with a delightful take no prisoners approach and sinfully long legs out to dinner when his phone rings. He smiles when he sees Blaine’s face lighting up the screen.

“Hey there, little brother! How’s McKinley High’s handsome Tony doing in the last few hours before he takes the musical theater world by storm?”

“Coop,” Blaine groans, and Cooper is thrilled that he can still get these kinds of reactions out of his brother. “I told you, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“You’re damn right it’s a HUGE deal,” Cooper corrects him. “You’re playing the fucking lead in West Side Story, for fuck’s sake… as a junior. You’re golden, dude.”

He can hear Blaine’s blush through the phone as he shrugs it off. “Man, I’m really sorry I couldn’t get the time off to come see your show,” Cooper says quietly. “I know Mom and Dad probably won’t make it, and I just really want to be there for you.”

“No, it’s okay,” Blaine says quickly. “I know this case is a big deal for you… you can’t stop the wheels of justice from turning just because I’m singing in a show.”

Cooper absolutely despises that tone of dejection and disappointment in his brother’s voice, and he’s seething with anger at his parents for scheduling Dad’s biggest business trip of the year on the same date as the most important weekend of Blaine’s life so far. But he can’t remind Blaine of that.

“So, what’s up?” Cooper asks, changing the subject as he sits back down and props his feet up on his desk. “How can I help you tonight?”

“Um, nothing really,” Blaine stammers, and Cooper wonders if he’s still mulling over their parents’ absolute nonchalance about Blaine’s theatrical debut. He’s about to say something when Blaine blurts out something at warp speed.

“I’m pretty sure I need to buy condoms but I’m not sure what kind to get and I was thinking you might have some advice.”

Cooper freezes as his brain tries to catch up with what he just heard.

“Um. What?”

There’s a bit of static on the line as Blaine mutters, “Nothing, forget it. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called, I’m such an idiot-“

“No, I’m sorry, because I could’ve sworn that you just asked me about condoms. Which would imply that you’re having sex. Which I honestly cannot wrap my mind around, Blaine,” Cooper says, shaking his head. “What the hell are you thinking?”

“Coop, it’s not like that-“

“Blaine, you’re seventeen goddamn years old,” Cooper breathes out, resting his forehead against his hand and trying not to freak out because his baby brother is having sex.

“So?” Blaine replies indignantly. “You were sixteen when you brought that blonde cheerleader home from the fall dance and made me go play Nintendo in the basement.”

Well, Blaine’s got him there.

“Touche, little brother. Touche.”

Cooper sighs as he tries to gather his thoughts, and Blaine beats him to the punch. “Look, I didn’t mean to bring that up,” he says. “I just… I don’t know.”

“Look, Blaine,” Cooper begins. “I’m not going to sit here and give you a lecture on being safe and STDs and all that shit, and I’m sure as hell not going to tell you what brand of condoms to buy, because you know you can Google that stuff. Which makes me think that’s not what you want to talk about.”

Blaine’s silence proves that he was right.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this, little brother?”

Cooper is taken aback at how small Blaine’s voice sounds through the phone as he says, “Coop, I fucked it up the other night. Big time.”

He waits, knowing that Blaine needs no prompting to continue. He listens patiently as Blaine tells him all about this Sebastian douchebag and the fake IDs and the gay bar, and he bites his tongue so that he doesn’t launch into a tirade about the legal implications if Kurt and Blaine were to get caught, and he tries not to reprimand Blaine when he admits how wrong he was to try to have sex with Kurt in the back of the car, but his heart breaks for his little brother as he listens to him degrade and destroy himself over this mishap.

“And… I mean, I know we’re going to have to deal with it eventually,” Blaine continues, “but I just… I want to be prepared, you know? I was such an idiot, and I just… God, Kurt deserves so much better than me.”

“Hey, now. That’s my kid brother you’re bashing there,” Cooper says playfully, earning a small chuckle from Blaine. The silence is all the prompting Cooper needs to continue. “Blaine, man… you’ve gotta talk to him about it. Apologize. That’s the best thing you can do right now.”

“But what if it’s not enough?” Blaine whispers. The hurt in his voice has Cooper reaching to turn his computer back on and book a ticket straight to Ohio immediately. “I love him so much, Coop, and I just… I want to show him that, but I don’t want to be that person I was Wednesday night ever again. I love him, and I just want him so badly, in every sense of the word, all the damn time…”

“Then don’t be that jackass again,” Cooper says flat out. “Man up. What happened to that guy who confessed his love over a bedazzled bird casket?” Blaine laughs. “Just tell him, Blaine. The worst thing you can do right now is just ignore this.”

Blaine breathes out, and Cooper can almost see the tension leaving Blaine’s shoulders. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll talk to him about it after the show tonight. “

“And as for the whole wanting him thing,” Cooper begins awkwardly, “I don’t know what to tell you, dude. You’re seventeen. Hormones are a bitch. But… you’re also in love. Which is awesome. So if and when the two of you actually… whatever,” he shrugs, still not allowing himself to think about the fact that his baby brother could actually be doing that, “then at least you know it will mean something. Because it’s supposed to mean something, Blaine, and you need to make sure that you’re ready for that.”

It’s not nearly as eloquent and wise as he wants it to be, but it gets the point across. He doesn’t want his little brother falling into bed with Kurt just because it feels good; that’s just not the kind of person Blaine is. Blaine feels everything a million times more intensely and acutely than anyone Cooper’s ever known, so he needs to know that his little brother is prepared for the effect this is going to have on him and Kurt and their relationship and just everything.

“I am,” Blaine responds, quietly yet confidently. “I mean, I know I’m ready. I know he’s the one. God, thanks, Coop. It just helps to hear your voice sometimes.”

“Anytime, little brother,” Cooper says with a smile. “And Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

“Take your ass to CVS right now and buy yourself a damn box of condoms,” Cooper mutters. “If you two are even talking about having sex, if you’re being physical like that all… Jesus, you need to be prepared, you idiot.” He shakes his head, trying to remove those images from his mind.

“Alright, alright. I’m getting in the car now. God, this is mortifying,” Blaine groans.

“It’s a fact of life, dude,” Coop laughs. “It’s hard, but you’ve gotta do it.”

“Why do I feel like there’s a ‘that’s what he said’ joke hiding somewhere in that statement?”

“Aw, geez, man,” Cooper groans. “You’re my baby brother. Stop it.”

“Fine, fine. Thanks, Coop.”

“You’re welcome, Blaine.”

That’s when Cooper thinks that even though he’s finally got this big brother thing figured out, his little brother may be getting to an age where he won’t need him as much anymore.

But Cooper will be Blaine’s big brother as long as he needs him.

Always.